fuckoffasshole's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Pull**it]

Holy shit! Taking a dump was never more fun.
I wish I could poop like this in the real life.
Needs more features, and ideas to keep the player interested, though.
So I guess that this is nice for a prototype

25games responds:

hehee... thank you very much for your review!
It's indeed a very short minigame!
We decided to make a greater game, if it get enough votes :)

[Lost Temple]

The game feels unique, despite not being original, and very retro, and while it has some ragequit moments, the challenges are good. It might feel confusing a little at first, but the gameplay feels intuitive. The game is short in a good way, because it doesn't get boring, albeit it does feel more like a teaser for something bigger. I think that this game will be frontpaged soon, and I do wonder if you get some daily prize.

There are some slight bugs, as when sometimes the hit-areas are a tad bit sensitive, and sometimes the player slips from a block to a lava if he doesn't stand "properly" on it, but it's all minor, not even worth deducting any points. So, as to what was bad? Hm.... hard to tell, because the game despite its simplicity feels polished. Maybe other users will be more helpful.

The final boss felt a little weird, as all I had to do was to drop one rock on him, and then I got transported to the next, final level. At first I thought that I died and got transported to previous level.

Hint for players: to get to some of the higher platforms you need to run, which is especially important in the first level, where there is this spot that you need to get to get the last crystal and finish the level. Experiment with running and jumping.

Also, if you press continue before starting the game, you'll go to a bonus room, albeit there isn't much to do there.

JeffreyDriver responds:

Thanks for your feedback, its been helpful. I'll tweak the collision shapes to try and stop the player sliding off blocks.

I'll look into the boss issue. You're meant to hit him with blocks three times and then the door should appear.

[Drop Fall]

Pretty fun game.

Alas, when you are near the end (after factory 2, which unlocks 4 new levels), it seems like you have to beat the "more points" level twice (the south volcano level). Anyway, that how it was for me, albeit after beating the 4 new levels, I've beaten the "factory 2" and "knock off" again, before moving to "more points" level. Complicated, as you can see.

Anyway, if everything goes well, you should be transported to "aimed rocks" (east-north grass), which should unlock "rain view", after which you should be transported to two bonus ice levels. And after them there should be the final level.

LuKaSX responds:

Hello, thank you for your review and for completing the game, it means a lot for me :) It's been a while since I last visited Newgrounds, so sorry for the delay on answering you.

By the way, my apologies for the bug, hopefully it wasn't gamebreaking, but it sure still annoying notheless.

[You Are The Victim]

The game serves more as a mouthpiece than a game, but it's not a bad for a short game.
It's made well, and it presents your views in a professional and interesting way.
All in all, it's okay, albeit could be more engaging. I certainly wouldn't mind more stuff coming from you, as you have talent.

---------------
Now if someone is curious, my 2 cents in regards to the politics, as this game is apparently about Palestinians vs Israelis, albeit mind you, that had no bearing on the rating whatsoever.

In 2015, when you first published this game, I would have been probably on Israel's side. Nowadays? Not so much. It all boils down to how people, who were oppressed themselves, became the oppressors. Now, it's not your fault, but it's certainly the fault of your government's policies.

Palestinians are treated like a literal cattle, and sorry, no matter how anyone will try to justify it, it's mindblowingly disturbing. Israel is being openly an apartheid country, and is very proud of it. Maybe the problem is that Israel's government is zionist - radical right-wing nationalist. And Israel has been zionist for a very very long time.

And again, it's not like Israel has no problem with being chauvinistic, racist, and hateful towards other countries as well, like ie. Poland, with the outrageous anti-Polish campaign to the point of slander, and it's only a recent -2018- example. Or like Israel doesn't have much heart for others, as they still didn't recognize Armenian Holocaust committed by Turks (also a recent example). And of course, it's a matter of time, before Israel starts a war with Iran.

I can also tell a personal anecdote how my aunt got spat on by jewish orthodox kids (one even threw a rock) in Jerusalem for being christian pilgrim. I seriously wonder what these kids are being taught by their parents, because it's disturbing to say the least. If this is how an outsider is treated, I can only wonder how the Palestinians are treated.

Remember, if you give hatred to others, it will return back to you thousandfold. Israel certainly has a lot of PR homework to do, because so far, it looks ugly to say the least.

And no, I don't condone terrorist actions, especially done by muslims.

Alon-Tzarafi responds:

You're correct about the time frame. When this game was made there was a "knife intifada" which means every couple of days a random palestinian would go and stab random israelis. This left people terrorized and scared to walk outside. This was the backdrop, yeah, but the game is about something else. I had a strange habit of checking how international media reports things every time something happens. I was pretty shocked. If for example a palestinian stabs 4 israelis and is then arrested by the police you would see this headline: "Tension in Jerusalem rises as police assault a Palestinian suspect". It would come with a big picture of a poor palestinian guy being violently arrested on the ground with menacing police/military figures looking down on him. The news story will start with some background information about how israel is terrible and how its police is brutal. When reading this stuff it would make me wonder "Wait. What? Was there ever even a terrorist attack in the first place? Maybe it never happened?". Then if you scrolled down to the 7th paragraph, you might see a mention of the poor palestinian guy suspected to maybe have injured a civilian or two (Of course, there would be no pictures of injured/killed israelis, only palestinian ones). The reporters still have to write part of the truth because they can't broadcast outright lies, it would hurt their credibility, but they can frame reality however they see it to obfuscate the truth. And I'm not talking about some shady underground media outlets but mainstream big-name news outlets like BBC. But still, sometimes, they did cross the line too far and wrote blatant lies against israel. These stories could cause too much noise and criticism against them and couldn't stay on their site so after about 6 days (after it's not news anymore and people already consumed the lies) they would fix the headline and story article to remove the lies.
So, yeah basically, in anti-israel media there would be no pictures of injured/hurt/killed israelis, only palestinians. But of course, in the Israeli media, they'd place the emphasis on the terrorized israeli causalities. You could see them and the scenes of the crime itself and also the casualties' families crying on camera. And there would never be any room for doubt about WHY those police officers jumped on that terrorist guy who was in the middle of trying to kill people.

It was just extreme examples I saw of how something clear and simple happens but every group can perceive it as a completely different story, and that was the inspiration for this game.

Since then I follow the news much less, both domestic and foreign. I hope it can stay this way but then again it's the middle-fucking-east.

Those jewish orthodox spitter kids will for sure also spit on a muslim for no reason other than being racist and being raised on hate. They will also spit on other jews but who are not religious, or jews who believe in "the wrong kind of judaism".
Of course, you can note that if you swap the words "jew" and "muslim" here it all still magically holds true. That's because religious extremists are horrible everywhere.

[Hangman's Wife]

It's a shame that you didn't do more games. You certainly knew how to push boundaries and creativity

Kolumbo responds:

pay me

[Release the Midi-chlorians]

Ah, what the hell, have 5, as I enjoyed it (kinda). Albeit the criticism has merit, I cannot be mad at you, and I want you to encourage to not abandon the flash.
What I liked, and what I want
1) Great music (voted 5 on each of the tracks as well)
1b) Especially YubNub, freaking infectious
2) The fake-asian accent of Sophie gave me "feels".
2b)Therefore I would request Sophie singing "dark side bad for you, light side good for you".
3) Your deep low voice also gave me "feelsies".
4) I think you should also upload your cover of the star wars theme, it was good.
5) I don't know why, but I like the humor and the carefree attitude of the flash. It's not sophisticated, but the delivery sells it. At least for me. But then again, I lost any trace of humanity after getting 800k of medal points, so I might not be the best judge. Especially that I collected medals from your ludum dare mazes, which literally drove me to insanity.
6) I like that the icon for immortal medal is Ikki.
7) While I know it's pointless to ask for a hentai version, I wouldn't mind if you do some follow up parody movie with Kylo / Ren, as there really was some charm in it.
8) The game itself, while it has some flaws, feels actually unique, and fresh. It's possible that I played a game with similar mechanics, but I didn't have a sense of deja vu.
9) I like the option for PG-13, albeit you can still see the dick in the final scene

So to put it short, sometimes you don't get the 5 points for excellence or perfection, but rather, for impression and the enjoyment factor.

Let the flashforce be with you.

[Daeblo Episode 1]

I was thinking whether I should let go, or write some words.

I would love to know your thought process, when you put the mines near the white arrows.
I would love to see you "testing" the game, considering that the player gets glitched, when he picks up a match, or pentagram.
Imagine how lovely it is to play the game, get near the end, only to randomly be transported to inside the worm, and of course getting an instant damage. Imagine wanting to leave that worm, only to get punched by a mine outside.

I would love to see you beat this game under two minutes, like you said yourself in one of the comments. There are many game developers, who care about what they do to the point that I am in deep awe. They care about the game that they make, and they thrive for the best.

Not you. You put half-assed made games, with tons of bugs, glitches, with an art style swiped from more talented creators. You never improved, quite the opposite. All your games are like this one. A cancer.

Writing bitter reviews is a foul thing to do. They always leave an awful taste in mouth.
But I'm not writing it for you, because you are not worth my time. This is a warning for those, who want to venture into this shit.

Beware! This game will make you feel really furious.

scuddle responds:

That was beautiful. Thank you.

[Totally Odd]

This was lovely as hell. Too bad that we will probably never get something like that again... I can only imagine how much time it took to create this game.

[Nunchuck Charlie]

Amazing. The game seems hard at first glance, but once you get acquainted with the controls, it's actually very easy, albeit still very challenging. It's weird that this game isn't more popular, and has so little views, considering it was frontpaged (rightfully so), and has very attractive graphics and gameplay. There were some minor bugs, mostly in chapter 2, where my character was pushed out of playable area, and I had to restart from the last save, but it wasn't a big deal.

Of course, I could further compliment graphics, sound, and whatsnot, but I think that me giving this game full score says everything l I think about these aspects. Pure perfection.

For medal hunters:
Finding the gnomes was the hardest thing to do. Hint: each Chapter has 3 gnomes, 1 per level. In Chapter 2, there are NO gnomes in level 1 (chapter 2 is also the longest, as it has 4 puzzle levels).

In regards to other medals, don't worry if you don't get them during your first play, because after beating the game, and forgiving the bear, you can replay the game as the bear itself, and easily get the remaining medals, especially 50x combo and 2,5 million score.

[Dyer Hit World]

I have a love / hate relationship with that game.

The idea itself felt very fresh, same with execution, and the design is REALLY cool. Another good thing is that the game has something of a learning curve. Despite having to restart all over, due to failures, and despite being pissed off and ragequitting many times while playing, I did enjoy it a lot.

I certainly wouldn't mind a sequel.

Getting all the medals wasn't an easy feat, and ironically, level 6 is the hardest to collect all of the garbage rocks, despite it seemingly looking as the easiest one. The reason for that is because the space between the "letters" is not wide enough, and it's easy to miss some of the rocks.

Also, while the game is challenging, it's fair in a way that you can learn the patterns and how to use the levels to your advantage. In other words, you get better the more you play this game. I would also advise taking long breaks, as the game can be very exhausting. I think that everyone who wants to get all of the medals, will get them, if they aren't lazy.

To get secret medal: during survival (post level 10), you just have to not move at all for 60 seconds and survive. The easiest way would be to go in some corner.