fuckoffasshole's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Magirune]

I liked it. Medal for Finishing the game (#2) doesn't work for me for some reason. Maybe there is a conflict with the 0 deaths medal? I though that hardcore medal also doesn't work until I've reloaded the browser. But I wonder if you can make the game resend the medals by clicking the endings in the settings

FluffyLotus responds:

I updated the text of the medal. You are correct, it needs one death. The image at the end is also different. Right now it sends everything when the game loads. I'll look into that.

[Farting Strawberry Clock]

The motherfucking saga continues
All hail to those believin in the real gangsta shit
Cause when it comes to the real niggas
It makes the shit that much harder to deal with
Yeah! Above the Law up in this motherfucker
"Black Mafia" for life
Down with the real niggas for life! Ha ha
Yo Sweet Talk, tell 'em what the fuck we here for!
Well alright y'all, USC, Compton, Watts
The Woods! All across the motherfuckin USA
Ye though I walk through the the valley of real niggas
I should fear no man or motherfuckin Klan, hear me one
Cause I been to the mountaintops y'all
And I done seen through the eyes of a real nigga
(Yo, what you think about the real niggas 187?)
Yo, they make some of the coldest shit I done never heard!
Yo, for me Km.G I must give it up
To the Ruthless motherfuckin gangsters
Fear no mob!
Because you're scared mon you're scared!
Dem de pussy runnin at y'all scared mon
Bend dem silly bumba claat barber 'til de pussy claat run
BO! BO! BO! BO! BO! Keep Baby-lon on the run, seen!
The real niggas is back, cause there's too many bullshit records out
Niggas fiendin for what we put out
But you don't have to wait no longer
Because the new album is out and the shit is much stronger
So many groups made three albums or more
And that weak-ass shit is still sittin in the record store
They wonder why it never sold
Niggas rappin since the 70's and still never went gold
Our first record sold two million copies
That's because you other motherfuckers are sloppy
You came out street and crossed over
And after that your career is fuckin over
Because of that you're not around
So shut the fuck up and witness the sound of some real niggas
Yeah motherfuckers!
Keepin all you busters on the run in '91
Kick that shit Ren
Most niggas can't understand
And never will if they ain't part of the Ruthless mafia clan
Niggas is dedicated to the streets
With hype fuckin lyrics and the dope-ass beats
The songs will never come soft, because I come off
So don't get in my way cause motherfucker you'll get cut off
And it's somethin you can move your lips to
To wrap around my dick and suck if it fits you
And let me now if you wanna ride
The D-I-C-K, all day that's with no play
Cause ain't no rap group out that I know
That make me wanna listen to the radio
All I hear is motherfuckers tryin to make a comeback
With lovesongs, and that shit is whack
And that's why your ass ain't around
Cause you don't have the motherfuckin sound
Of a real nigga (Yeah motherfuckers!)

Little-Rena responds:

Nice one!

[LongBoi]

you guys are taking this "out of control" theme too literally. I would prefer to zoom out,to have the game screen like when the level starts, as the levels are barely visible when you zoom in and that sucks real hard. Also I hate the controls. Can they be less shitty? I know it's the point, but this is a little too out of control, and if I wreck my computer out of anger, I will send you the bill and sue you for damages

EDIT: thank you for cheating. I am really, I mean, I just... I want you to know that I appreciate it. I just need to press, I....

voxeledphoton responds:

Yea sorry, this was mainly just a fun exercise for me to work with physics and medals so if it's not that enjoyable to you due to the controls I understand.
EDIT: surprised someone found it this early (you found the control outside of controls) XD

[In the Time of Pandemia]

Good game, keep fighting with a flu lol
Sometimes I feel like people want that virus to be lethal, so they can tell the grandchildren "I was there during the covid times"

Game is thought provoking, and not as obvious as I thought at first

kikill responds:

Thanks f.o.a.! Glad to be back on NG. :)

[Palito]

The game is an example of unique mechanics, but not necessarily engaging gameplay.
7 minutes for easy mode and 15 minutes for normal feels unrealistic
EIther extend the time, or reduce levels (it feels like the game is never ending)

I would also like to see you unlock the unharmed medal yourself smartass

DJBatz responds:

Challenge accepted

Edit: EZ (not really)

[Decryption: A Free Online MMO]

It was just another sorry day. You know, like one of these days that you don't want to happen, but they happen anyway, no matter how much you beg.

"Do you want to play the game?" He asked

"I do not want to play the game" I replied.

"I'm not in the mood" I added suddenly, like if I automatically expected (and of course, for the lack of better words, assumed as well) that he would insist on me playing the game.

But before anything was said or done, I clicked play button anyway. Maybe it's just a reflex of mine. I succumbed as if to not further delay the inevitable. It's just that I didn't want to be seen as a weak person and a dumbass. The kind of who has nothing better to do than playing games. I had life, it's just that it was unfulfilling, and full of disappointment, bitterness and resentment.

There was something meek in this game. Like it was a showcase of some sort of long-time running depression. I really appreciated it, it really spoke to me. Maybe subconsciously more than consciously, but it felt good. Like never before. This felt like being at home and I felt cautious, as if I knew that the game would probably want to go in the cliche directions, mocking or making fun of my emotions. But there was no smugness, no tongue-in-cheek, just plain whiteness and the darkness lying underneath, no matter how terrible and cliche it sounds.

But still, you could glance at the game and you could feel that it was genuine.

It wasn't forced, it wasn't funny, it was sad. Like my life.

I clicked and waited.

And here I was. Drifting in the bleak whiteness of the Appalachian Mountains.

The slowness, the slowness of the process was infuriating. I won't lie, patience is not one of my virtues. Still, the inherent sadness, and calmness of the game slightly overwhelmed my senses, and at some point I just stopped playing. I was me, and this was game.

The numbers, the letters. They represented something that made sense for programmers, but not for me. It didn't make any sense for me. But what made sense for me was the notion of drifting and drifting away from reality. And the pleasant coldness that came with it that entered my heart. Like a dagger or a blade, and I didn't want to defend myself. Quite the opposite, I felt like pushing it further through and hoping that it will be enough to kill all of the monsters that dwelled within me and fed upon my fears.

The character moved like a ghost, like he was already dead. That hit the home much closer than I really wanted it to hit. But it hit nonetheless. But at the same time, it was all soothing. The numbness, the complete lack of anything comprehensible. Just anything. But at the same time, nothing at all.

It's like he was dead, while being alive at the same time.

I took the sword and the snake spoke "Do you need a buddy?"

I told to myself "No, I don't need anyone.", and made one of the most obnoxious "pmphhh" on that side of the continent.

I wasn't there. At least I didn't feel like I was there physically. Not in the slightest.

And he kept on drifting and drifting slowly. Like he didn't care.

"Just people acting weird I guess".

Hell yeah, I picked up the bone, and opened the doors. The vastness of the place overwhelmed and it felt too much. Too encompassing and too big. My sanity couldn't handle that much space in my brain. I had to inhabit it with something that would help making the longing less bitter and painful. The rush of thoughts was too quick, too fast to make any sense of anything. I needed to be calm again.

"It always comes back to the beginning".

"As if I did something wrong"/

I didn't need to collect these items, though. I just did by default. What I really need to do was to pass the black wall.

But I kept on drifting. And drifting, even further away.

He comes down. It always goes down. And he does it so slowly and meticulously with care, like with every step he wanted to punish me for all of the mistakes that I did.

"Idk man"

I couldn't do it any other way. She didn't care, and for me, she was my life. Why did it happen? I'll die not knowing the truth.

There is this ugly word called "despair". I abhor it. There is no sense of dignity, no honor, no glory in being tough. It's just that it hurts less when all of it just slips away, instead of hurting you directly, as opposed to you suffering the pain of losing your opportunity. Now when I look back, I don't know why I used the word "despair". How random. Am I still myself?

"Let's go" said Vinnie the Gaule and I listened.

And here he is. Here is that asshole again. God I hate him. Talking behind my back, painting me as some sort of awful person. It's like he is obsessed with making my life as miserable as possible. I'm not horrible. I just want to stay away. But why he is so obsessed in badmouthing me so much? I never cared for him, and yet, he does everything he can to mark his presence in my life.

The heart. The star. How symbolic, I said to myself. How corny, I added few seconds later. But being a smartass didn't help not one little bit, not one little inch, how everything was slowly drifting away. It just kept on drifting and dritfting away.

"I didn't see him in 936 days"

Something to that extent entered my consciousness. And I started wondering.

"Was that really that long?"

I don't think so.

And here I go, almost like a lunatic, drifting and drifting away. It all feels some corny. Bittersweet. All these people I loved, all these moments that were worth living for.

"Birthday"

Fuck that. Let's just skip it altogether. I don't want to think about it, let alone discuss that.

Let's keep on drifting and drifting away. It feels good. God knows how good it feels.

And then the angel appeared. She came down to me and she whispered to my ears:

"You cannot hold on to your resentment forever. You have to move on"

At first, I wanted to redact that sentence, so you would have to guess and create conspiracy theories as to what the angel told me. But after a second thought (and a big bottle of vodka) I decided "what the hell, you only live once lol". So here you have it.

In regards to religion. I do not care if God exists. That is not the point of the faith. If one believes in God, it's because each one of us have a sense of justice and hope. Those who believe in God do so, because they want to believe that no matter what you do, the karma will hit you correctly. If you don't believe in anything, then you can very well believe that this world deserves to die. No matter what happened in my life, I've never wanted to lose that little single thing that made me feel human, because everything else was reminding me of how much of an automatic monkey I am, and how much I respond the way I was programmed to.

But the zoo wasn't open until thursday, and I had a key in my hand that would let all of the elephants roam.

"Warriors come out and play-eee-ayyyyy"

(review in progress - or is it?)

ninjamuffin99 responds:

this is a good ass review btw

[VALOR: The Lord and Savior]

Passwords don't work. Then again, your brain also doesn't. Not to mention that the color scheme is dumb (why red orange pink purple instead of yellow green blue white?).

Your games are awful and I wish you stopped making games. You are one of the worst creators on NG period

Newshield responds:

Everything I think about your Mom buddy. You're the reason abortion is a MUST.

[Bogus Roads]

"Thank you for playing"
No, thank you for making this game.
Also, you should had considered making an endless mode with 3 lives at start, and maybe like over 60 seconds of time

KilledByAPixel responds:

Thank you, I will add more to the game at some point, endless mode is definitely on the list!

[Christmas ADVENTure 2019]

This was a hell of a journey.

I admit, till the end I had doubts that you could pull it off, and I probably wasn't helpful with my constant suspicions and blabbering. But you did it. Everything worked smooth, unlike last year, and I didn't have any problems whatsoever.

I'm not really a fan of the games that require you to be on a certain day to obtain medals, but there is a sense of accomplishment after reaching the end, albeit I wonder if there's going to be some surprise additions. After all it's still week until 2020.

One random thought is that it's crazy how some people unlocked the medals within the moments they were available. Get a fucking life.

Kinda disappointed that there is lack of Fulp's nudes in the calendar, though.

Okay, enough of shit chat, let's take some alcohol and get really wasted.
Fuck christmas, it's a depressing time.
BEER!

GeoKureli responds:

And I have more art to add too!

[ZS Dead Detective - Pumpkin Head]

Well, then let me say this for the last time: great series, the kind of series that makes you care about the world and its characters.

You've done well kid, now go on and enjoy your life. And (future) wife.

Muja responds:

Thank you a lot for your support, hope you'll enjoy my future games too!