fuckoffasshole's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[State your name]

MY NAME IS SLIM SHADY. This is the most cliched game I had ever seen on NG, try to be original for once. As a matter of fact, you stole it from some shitty game I forgot the name of, including even the pink color of the rebel text. shame on you, you weren't original enough to think of different color and it was from 2016 AFAIK.

[There's just something about u]

what a sad story. poor "u"...

;_;

"i" was such a selfish bastard, incapable of love, nor care. sure "u" acted like a drama queen sometimes, but the concerns were valid and you can see how it tried to reach "i" to open up about itself. "i" on the other hand was a reclusive passive agressive bitch interested only in its own welfare. Very sad, and I feel like it reflects the current problems, as well as the trend that will continue among young people.

GooseStranger responds:

I've never heard this take on the story. Thanks for a new point of view and thanks for playing!

[Dragonsweeper]

should have more options (size of the board, difficulty, etc). as it is now, it's still genius

I really hope that you're not abandoning this project

edit: also, restart after beating the game would be nice

MY RECORD: I've cleaned the whole board with 7 hearts still left - can you beat my score, adventurer?

[Kwing VS Cyberdevil]

Cyberdevil has a voice like Method Man holy shit. TICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

Cyberdevil responds:

High praise man, TY!

[Auto Necrochess]

hard game, and very unfair (not enough money, too many options to choose, and as such, difficult to combine the items), but interesting. your biggest sin is that you made a game that would be epic, but you limit it by being unnecessarily hard, making the gameplay session too short with not enough space or money to contain anything complex.

I've read your blogpost and you are thinking in a very incorrect direction - don't think about making it harder - you can always create HARD mode for that. Instead, think how the player can customize the gameplay to suit his/her own needs. It's always better to give options to players, instead of chosing for them. It also makes the game live longer, the more options they have.

also, there's not much you can do during battle, so the option of making it much faster all-the-time would be more than nice

another thing, shooters should shoot the best option, I hate when the archer shoots an already cursed enemy for fuck sake, I know I don't have to curse from the start, but then again, the sooner I curse someone, the better for me.

also, if you lose all hearts, you should have an option to replay the last battle, because like I said, it's too random and unfair, so it's all about luck

also, why the game doesn't autosave? sure, it's not long (unfortunately), but still... saving option would probably be good to try different purchases options without losing good lineup

The first time I've reached the king I thought that this was overkill. And even when I've beaten him, I still do.

QUICK RESTART is a must, because from the start you have to be extra efficient, and if you don't get what you need, there's no point in further playing.

Not sure what is the point of mandatory clicking on the witch every time new tier is unlocked.

---------------+-----------------------------+-----------------------------+-----------------------------+--------------

And how I won? Boy, it was SUCH A WEIRD WIN!
I almost closed the tab, because I had no hopes of winning, just was curious to see how it plays out.

first row: nurse lv2., pig butcher lv. 2, summoner lv. 2 - all with bone extra
second row: bard lv. 3, skull lv. 3 buffed to hell and back, charmer lv. 2, rat lv. 2 (that was earlier buffed with the granny that gives extra life) - all with bone extra
third row: assassin lv. 2, archer lv. 2, lizard shooter lv. 2 - all except archer with bone

+ curse book lv. 2 I used on third row knights with defence extra.

As can be seen, the bone extra is a must to make the characters survive simply longer and spam the attack on the enemy.

It certainly helped that I managed to lose only 2 hearts for most of waves, except the penultimate and the final, otherwise I would lose, because I won with only one heart left. I knew that I couldn't beat king's sons, but I wanted to minimize damage. for the final wave I sold two chapels (one lv. 2) and one archer lv. 1. I barely won, but I did it without the big skeleton guy.

ALSO, there is one fuck-up I really hate, if you upgrade the character, it's important which you use to fuse - if you put a character with an extra buff to a character with no extra, you will lose said buff. but if you put a character without a buff onto a character with a buff, you'll keep the buff. If you fuse characters, you shouldn't lose any extra buff, PERIOD. This should be fixed.

[Citri Plays Noirwood]

Surprisingly great. If only other creators were like you...

[Jack 64]

I don't like the secret passage. First of all, the movement is TOO slippery, so it's near impossible to jump over. Secondly, because there's no checkpoints, getting through witches is frustrating (how in the flying fuck am I supposed to evade them in the castle?).

At least add one checkpoint at the witches sign for fuck sake, so I don't have to go through that tight corridor again and AGAIN. Make this a true birthday gift, for the sake of jack

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE THE SECRET PASSAGE EASIER

[Shoot Up]

You should start making lectures to people on newgrounds about how to make a good game. Seriously, when you look at the shit that is being submitted, you wouldn't believe. You don't know how happy I am to finally find a good game on this godforsaken website. Especially that you recently submitted many good games.

TwistedByArt responds:

Thank you very much for the review, comments like this are always a great motivation for me to keep creating new games :)

[Crazy WEIRDO the game 911 Cool]

he looks like he didn't shave today. Indiana Ball

[Dream Medicine]

Some help for those who need it. Each dialogue needs it's own recipe
I FEED CHILDREN FAST FOOD -> BURGER + HEART + MONEY
DEALER WON'T GIVE ME DRUGS -> DRUGS X 2
FAT KID ASKING FOR ICE CREAM -> BURGER
"FEEL BETTER" GUY -> BRAIN X 2
CAN'T FIND PARENTS & SAD -> STICK/CANE X 2 + HEART
That's all I've managed to found
Be lucky enough to have over 2500 score (or sth) and you'll get re-ministered

Boyyyy that was pretentious as fuck.
I'm curious about the other recipes, though. But there's no fucking way I'm going to figure them out. It was chore to find these ones...