fuckoffasshole's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Super Ninja Skydiving]

I am only writing this review as a WARNING for those, who are medal hunters.

The last levels are barely possible (I assume that they are possible, because some folks did beat them, albeit cheating could also be a possibility). The main problem with these levels is that they are randomized, meaning every time you get different placement of enemies, and power-ups (and sometimes the suitcases have explosives), and items (some of them, like duck, also explode). That means that you cannot create a strategy and have to rely on pure luck. If you plan on beating the game, or beat challenges, I can only say: YOU WERE WARNED. DON'T BLAME ME THAT YOU HAD A STROKE FROM RAGING.

And if you aren't sure if you want to waste your time on this, frankly, play something else.

[Nightmare Runner 2]

People say that flash is dying, but Unity is already dead on arrival.
Flash will not die, and this game is fucking brilliant.
You literally brought me a smile on my face with your game

ClockworkMonster responds:

Wow! I really appreciate your words! Thanks!!!

[COMMUNISM THE GAME]

This is the world that Antifa and SJWs wants to create.

ComradeStefan responds:

A better world. A brighter future.

[A Ghostly Journey]

This was really Epic. Back in the day, people would pay a shitload of money to buy such game.
Nowadays, such games are for free to play. This is probably one of the best games that NG has to offer. Words can't describe how amazing this game is, despite me raging few times. But it was a positive rage, not ragequit.

Great art, interesting story, great puzzles and secrets that I loved to discover. At first I thought that the game is freaking long, but now, when I finished it, I already miss beating these puzzles. I did replay some of the earliest levels, and damn, they feel so easy right now, which means that the learning curve in this game is really good. The hardest level would be level 17, as it needed some serious planning ahead.

Wow, really impressive, alas, after looking through your catalog, your games tend to be really massive in terms of gameplay.

[Uirdz]

When I started playing this game with the thought that maybe I can at least get one medal, I didn't even dream that I would get all of the target times. I didn't think I could do it.

And then the longer I played, the better I got. To the point that I thought "hey, maybe I actually CAN have all of the medals". I didn't give up, despite so many levels. I tried and I tried, and finally, I did it. I've beaten the game with 100% completion. I feel strange, when I think of it all. Thanks to your game, I certainly improved a mouse + keyboard skill.

The game can be frustrating, unfair, and exhausting, but at the same time, the challenges are... fun, which is rare. And thanks the humor, the failings are not as frustrating as the would otherwise.

But damn, I need a glass of water now.

I needed walkthrough maybe only for one or two levels. And the biggest chore were the levels 18 and secret levels 3 and 4.

And if someone wonders, the button in level 19 removes the blockade in level 13, that appears if you fail said level. It might sound obvious, but I'd rather write it anyway.

[Tied Santa Escape]

I get it now. In order to get Fastest Santa, you need a score between 9700+ and 9799.
I would advise to have a score above 9750.

You cannot be TOO fast, nor TOO slow. When I had 9805 score, the medal didn't unlock.
But the medal unlocked for 9782 score.

[Space Defender]

I did this. 8 hours of torture and I have the medal for hard achievements.

For starters, everything that Fioresa says is WRONG. You get penalty for EVERY hit, no forgiveness, no fuck-ups whatsoever allowed.

Let me tell you something. The game starts pretty cool. It's hard, but you can get better and improve yourself. Basically, the first 7 levels are doable in 30 minutes.

Then comes level 8. It will take you over an hour to beat that level (but only because of the last wave with vice-boss).

Then, it will take you 2 more hours to beat level 9. The constant spam of the white shits is more than annoying. But eventually, you upgrade yourself enough to beat it (hopefully - for you). Then, if you hate yourself enough, you can, like me, try to beat these levels without getting hit. And that will take you minimum 5 hours, if not more (depends on your determination and stubborness, mine is pretty high). As a matter of fact, the only thing that will actually stop you from getting the last medal, will be the constant spam of the small ships, who are very fast and kamikaze-like.

So remember, if you feel like punching a wall during that game, you were warned! It's not for easily frustrated (unless like me, you are fueled by anger).

Frankly, I wish I would give you some useful hint for getting the achievements.
For level 8, it's important to have high damage, high automatic damage, and mulitply critical. For level 9, it's mostly damage, multiply critical, and speed powerup. All really highly upgraded. Plus some luck - if you are surrounded from both sides by white shitps, you can very well restart. Every other upgrade will also bring you closer to the goal, albeit it will be very small steps.

As you can see, the author of the game made a very cliche mistake - he artifically extended the gameplay, by making the last 2 levels doable after grinding, and barely achievable, no matter the grinding. For that alone I was thinking of giving it zero to be honest, and frankly, I don't really know why I didn't. I must be getting really soft. Or maybe I see a potential, despite the game being quite generic.

What could be done to improve the game:
-cheaper higher upgrades
-automatic turn-on of powerups (at least for fast shooting)
-much less grinding
-less little ships in level 8 (last 5 waves)
-slightly less white ships in level 9
-more efficient auto-damage (it didn't do shit in the final waves of level 8. and did no damage whatsoever in level 9)
or maybe, a more forgiving rating required for 3 stars that allows a fuck-up?

I might sound harsh, but once you play this game, you will say that I was being extremely polite.
Goddamn I am tired.

[Crystal Treasures]

A nice showcase of your talent, if not a modest one. I give you 5 not because it deserves 5, but because I want to encourage you into making more games, and better games. I already PMed some bugs, and if anything, it would be nice if there was "level select" option, and maybe you should add some ending. After getting the final gem, the character very well can kill himself, because there are no final doors, and no final "congratulations! you won the game" screen.

[No Hexy]

"Humankind was a mistake"
- God, 2017

The game felt like some good ole indoctrination into some satanic cult. That slow, tortured movement, that ominous music, the "nobody understands me" attitude. I won't lie, I liked it, it was kinda funny. I laughed during the moment, when he kicked that ball too far.

It's true that people wear masks. They do, because it helps them exploit others easier. Just like in your game, the hexagon changed into triangle / square, to get into the secret meeting of squares / triangles. Sneaky, but clever. It was also really weird that his friend at the end changed into the toilet (or was it something else?)

The only negative thing I can say about this game, is that in the end, the experience felt kinda boring and tedious. But otherwise, it's okay. I also feel, like you forgot to make your point across more clearly, but maybe that's what you wanted, so I don't judge that.

Fafri responds:

Thanks for the feedback! :) The game just want to tell the story of Hexy, that can be compared to any real story of a victim of bullism or racism. The slow movement and the atmosphere in general try to replicate the "difficulty" that those people can have.

[Leap Jet Bear]

Now That I've Beaten This Game, Time For Review, Before I Lose The Smile On My Face For Beating This Game And Achieving All Medals.

Few tips: for the players:
-there's no better code than konami code
-the "no safety net" is only required for the standard levels (thank god, because otherwise it would be too extreme, even for me)
-dashing is your friend, because you can "cheat" the timing with dashing
-don't try to have both crystals and no checkpoint beaten level. Ever.

Graphics, Sounds, Concept = 10/10, nothing to discuss here, because it's flawless, the bobbing of the head of the cub is cute, and the chainsaws are cute too.

Game is very challenging, and sometimes unfair, and you can feel the laughing of the author, while failing, but it's not really frustrating. I don't know why, but I didn't ragequit. I did was exhausted, and I felt like after a running marathon, barely breathing.

What makes this game really good is that the player becomes actually better at this game, the more you play it. I got so better to the point that I was laughing at the shadow challenge and how slow it was, especially in level 20 when I was finishing the level, while the shadow was starting the third route.

Now the main menu loop could be edited a little better to flow better, but that's a minor thing.

The main flaw would be the crashing of the game after level 8 and 14, but apparently, the game will not crash if you beat these levels without failure. Hopefully it will be fixed, because it would be a shame for such game to be held back by such a minor problem. It was the only thing that really pissed me off severely, especially early in the gameplay.

And a suggestion, I do feel that the "beaten with no checkpoint" mark would be useful for level select.

All in All, in my honest opinion, ONLY Games like this one should be allowed to have medals, because it's a very well made game and carefully crafted.

MadNukin responds:

I love that someone took the challenge of this game and completed it in less than 24 hours, amazing.
Congratulations on the medals and for not giving up. You have some nerves.